What Is Neurodivergence — and Why It’s More Common (and Misunderstood) Than You Think
Neurodivergence is a word that more people are hearing these days—in schools, in therapy, in social media, and even in workplaces. But while awareness is growing, understanding still lags behind. Many adults, especially high-achieving professionals, go through life struggling silently, unaware that their experiences, challenges, and unique ways of thinking may fall under the neurodivergent umbrella.
This article aims to demystify neurodivergence, explore why it so often goes undiagnosed (especially in adults), and offer a more affirming, compassionate lens for understanding yourself or your loved ones. In Tampa Bay, Florida, with its vibrant and diverse communities, embracing neurodiversity can deepen healing, connection, and self-understanding.
What Does "Neurodivergent" Actually Mean?
The term "neurodivergent" was coined to describe people whose brains work differently from what is considered "neurotypical."
That might include individuals with:
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS)
Dyslexia or dyscalculia
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or other forms of anxiety
Tourette’s Syndrome
Or other neurological or cognitive differences
Neurodivergence doesn’t mean "disordered" or "broken." It simply means different. And that difference often includes not only challenges, but strengths.
There are many other terms to capture this same idea such as “Neurodiverse” or “Neurocomplex”.
The neurodiversity movement invites us to recognize that there's no one "normal" way for a brain to function. Instead, there's a wide spectrum of human cognitive experience—and each version brings its own gifts and adaptations.
Why So Many Adults Are Undiagnosed
1. They've Been Masking for Years
Many neurodivergent adults learn early on to "mask"—a term that describes suppressing natural behaviors or forcing oneself to fit into societal expectations. They might make intense eye contact even if it feels unnatural, work overtime to stay organized despite executive function struggles, or rehearse social interactions in advance. This is often something that individuals start early in life and don’t even realize that they are doing it.
This masking can be especially common in women and people raised as girls, who are often socialized to please others, avoid conflict, and stay under the radar. Over time, masking can become second nature, which makes it harder for both the individual and professionals to spot neurodivergent traits.
2. They’re High-Achieving and Successful
Another reason neurodivergent people go undiagnosed? They excel. They might be doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, or creatives who have succeeded despite their struggles. Because our culture often equates success with well-being, these individuals are less likely to be seen as "struggling" in a way that invites assessment or support.
But inside, many are overwhelmed, exhausted, and burned out from trying to keep up appearances or meet neurotypical expectations.
3. They’ve Been Misdiagnosed or Dismissed
Many adults with ADHD were told they were just lazy. Many autistic women were labeled as anxious or overly sensitive. People with sensory processing differences were called dramatic, difficult, or picky.
Rather than being recognized for what they were experiencing, they were misunderstood and invalidated. And without the right language or framework, they learned to internalize that something was wrong with them—without ever knowing what it was.
4. They’ve Adapted—But at a Cost
Neurodivergent people are often incredibly adaptive. They figure out how to survive in a world not built for their brains. But that adaptability comes at a cost: chronic stress, anxiety, identity confusion, and in some cases, physical health consequences from years of nervous system dysregulation.
Many arrive at therapy not knowing they’re neurodivergent, but knowing they’re burned out, disconnected, or emotionally exhausted.
5. Overlap with Anxiety, Trauma, and Giftedness
Traits of ADHD or autism often overlap with or lead to anxiety, depression, executive functioning challenges, or the stress of being doubly exceptional (2e)—gifted and neurodivergent. The high expectations placed on “gifted” individuals can mask underlying neurodivergent traits
Neurodivergence and the Nervous System
Understanding neurodivergence through the lens of the nervous system offers deeper compassion and insight.
People with ADHD or autism often live with a more sensitive or reactive nervous system. That can mean:
Greater difficulty with transitions or unpredictability
Overwhelm in crowded, noisy, or high-stimulation environments
Trouble with emotional regulation
A heightened sense of justice or fairness
Intense focus (hyperfocus) or difficulty initiating tasks (executive dysfunction)
Rejection sensitivity
These aren’t moral failings or character flaws. They are nervous system realities that impact how people move through the world. Therapy can help clients learn to recognize, regulate, and work with their nervous system rather than constantly pushing against it.
The Impact on Mental Health and Relationships
Unrecognized neurodivergence doesn’t just lead to stress and burnout. It can profoundly affect:
Self-esteem: When someone is constantly told (or subtly shown) that they’re "too much," "not enough," "too sensitive," or "not trying hard enough," it chips away at their sense of worth.
Relationships: Many neurodivergent people struggle with communication differences, sensory needs, or difficulty understanding social nuance. This can lead to misattunement, conflict, or feeling disconnected—especially if partners or loved ones don’t understand the underlying neurobiology.
Work and Productivity: The pressure to stay organized, meet deadlines, or work in structured environments can lead to underperformance, even when the individual is highly intelligent and capable.
Diagnosis Confusion: Because symptoms overlap, many neurodivergent people are misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or even borderline personality disorder—when the real root is an unrecognized neurodevelopmental difference.
A More Affirming Lens: Neurodivergence as Strength
While neurodivergence comes with real challenges, it also brings many strengths:
Creativity and innovation
Hyper-focus and passion for special interests
Unique problem-solving approaches
Deep empathy and emotional sensitivity
Honesty, loyalty, and integrity
In the right environment, these qualities can thrive. But that requires a shift away from trying to "fix" or "normalize" and toward helping people understand, support, and celebrate how they work best.
What Therapy Can Offer Neurodivergent Adults
If you or someone you love suspects they may be neurodivergent, therapy can be a powerful space to:
Explore identity and experiences without judgment
Unpack masking behaviors and their emotional toll
Understand sensory needs and regulation strategies
Learn to advocate for yourself at work, home, or in relationships
Deconstruct internalized shame and rebuild self-trust
Identify environments and habits that truly support your nervous system
Therapy isn’t about making someone more neurotypical. It’s about helping them build a life that works with their unique brain, rather than against it.
Neurodivergence is more common than most people realize. It’s also more misunderstood. By shedding the outdated lens of pathology and embracing a more compassionate, strengths-based view, we open the door for greater self-acceptance, mental health, and relational well-being.
Whether you’re just starting to explore this idea or have long suspected there was something different about the way you think, feel, or move through the world—you’re not alone. And there is nothing wrong with your brain. In fact, it might just be wired for something beautiful.
If you are a neurodivergent adult or suspect you may be, know that support exists. You deserve a space where your differences are not just accepted, but celebrated. Whether through therapy, community, or education, embracing your neurodivergence can be a turning point in your mental health and personal growth.
The Role of Psychological Testing and Evaluation
For those wondering whether they might be neurodivergent, a comprehensive psychological evaluation can be a valuable next step. Psychological testing is not about labeling or pathologizing—it’s about gaining clarity, self-understanding, and direction.
Evaluations can assess for conditions such as ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, learning differences, anxiety disorders and other cognitive or emotional profiles. These assessments often include:
Clinical interviews
Standardized testing
Behavioral observations
Self-report and collateral-report questionnaires
A skilled clinician can help you explore patterns, identify strengths, and rule out other possibilities that may be contributing to your experiences.
Many adults describe the process of getting evaluated as validating and empowering—it puts language to lifelong challenges and helps them move forward with more compassion and tailored support.
Whether you choose to pursue a formal diagnosis or simply want to understand your brain better, psychological assessment can be a meaningful tool in your journey toward wholeness.
If you are considering a psychological evaluation We have several highly skilled and trained psychologists who offer testing you can reach out for a free consultation to learn more about your options.
OTHER SERVICES OFFERED WITH WELLNESS PSYCHOLOGICAL SERVICES
If you are already diagnosed and are looking for therapeutic support for ADHD, Anxiety or OCD, Wellness Psychological Services is proud to offer both in-person and online therapy for the residents of tampa, and St. Pete Florida.
Other services offered include anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, depression counseling, OCD treatment, stress management, and testing and evaluation services for individuals as well! Additionally, we are happy to offer, PCIT therapy, DBT, child therapy, therapy for professionals, and health psychology. We also offer couples counseling, and discernment counseling. Feel free to learn more by visiting our blog or contact page!