Relationships are such an integral part of our day-to-day lives. So, when we are unhappy in our marriage or relationship it has a major impact on each partner's health. Research shows that to make a relationship last, couples must become better friends. This means learning to manage conflict and creating ways to support each other's hopes for the future. Our couples therapists use a combined approach from the most research-based and proven effective couples therapies. These include Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT).
OUR SPECIALIZED MARRIAGE & COUPLES THERAPISTS
Madison Allen Psy.D.
SPECIALIZED TRAINING & APPROACH
Gottman Method Therapy
Emotion-Focused Therapy
Reality Therapy/Choice Theory
Cognitive-Behavioral Couples Therapy
Brittany Carswell Ph.D
SPECIALIZED TRAINING & APPROACH
Gottman Method Therapy (Level 3)
Relational Life Therapy
Certified Discernment Counselor
Emotion-Focused Therapy
Justine Devlin Ph.D.
SPECIALIZED TRAINING & APPROACH
Cognitive-Behavioral Couples Therapy for Trauma
Imago Interpersonal Couples Therapy
Discernment Counseling
Gottman Method Therapy
Evangelin Browne LMFT
SPECIALIZED TRAINING & APPROACH
Developmental Model of Couples Therapy
Family Systems Therapy
Gottman Method Therapy
Gottman Couples Therapy
Gottman Method Couples Therapy is a structured, goal-oriented, scientifically-based treatment approach. It's based on years of scientific research where they followed long-term happily married couples. They did so to see what they were doing that made their relationships work. Based upon this research, Gottman therapy is designed to help couples break through barriers. By doing so, they can achieve greater understanding, communication, connection, and intimacy. This type of intervention helps both partners work on strategies for increasing respect, affection, closeness, and understanding. It also gives specific tools to help resolve conflict when partners feel stuck. All while keeping conflict discussions calmer and more constructive.
When you are working with one of our Gottman-trained psychologists, you will learn to better understand your partner's inner psychological world. Together, you can increase positive feelings toward your spouse/partner and move toward your goals. Not all conflicts can be solved. There are some things you and your spouse (or significant other) will never see eye to eye on. But, Gottman Method counseling can help you learn to better manage conflict as a couple. You'll also learn to repair your relationship when arguments or conflict does come up.
EMOTION-FOCUSED COUPLES THERAPY (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a short-term form of therapy. It focuses on adult attachment/bonding. The therapist and clients look at patterns in the relationship. Then, they take steps to create a more secure bond and develop more trust to move the relationship in a healthier, more positive direction. EFT focuses on observing the dynamics between couples to tie this behavior to the dynamics in their home interactions. Doing so helps direct new conversations and interactions based on more honest feelings.
How Does EFT Work?
The first step in EFT is to recognize and de-escalate the couple’s negative cycle of interactions. And, help them understand the pattern that keeps repeating in the relationship. Then, the next stage works to restructure interactions. The therapist helps clients discuss their fears and needs in the relationship using language that doesn’t push the other away. The goal is to help both partners learn to turn toward each other and discuss their needs. By doing so, they can become more open and responsive to each other. Research studies on EFT have found that 70-75% of couples who do EFT move from distress to recovery. Also, approximately 90% show significant improvements.
RELATIONAL LIFE THERAPY (RLT)
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) was developed by psychotherapist Terry Real. Therapists who practice this approach believe all relationships experience cycles of harmony, disharmony, and repair. Relationship issues may arise if either partner is not aware of how to properly repair the damage associated with disharmony. The relationship may become more troubled if either partner begins to develop feelings of disillusionment and/or resignation when faced with relationship issues. With this in mind, therapists help couples:
- Identify their issues
- Develop the skills needed to repair their relationship
- Encourage them to take decisive action
How Does RLT Work?
RLT teaches the skills of relational mindfulness. These skills help couples change repetitive and cyclical conflict patterns. This occurs through loving confrontation, family of origin work, and teaching of new relational skills. Loving confrontation involves the therapist showing you where you are going wrong in the relationship and what the issues are. In RLT, the therapist explores your history to help make sense of why current patterns are stuck in place. Then, skills are taught for relational communication and living. These also include how to repair, have compassion, deeper intimacy, and stronger connections.
REASONS TO COME TO COUPLES THERAPY AND MARRIAGE COUNSELING
Couples choose to come to marriage counseling for many reasons. Below is a list of only a few reasons a couple may choose to see a Gottman Couples Therapist or EFT Marriage Counselor. The truth is that marriage counseling can help:
- Committed couples who are considering marriage
- Engaged couples
- Married couples looking to strengthen their marriage
- Or even married couples on the brink of divorce
Wherever you are on your relationship journey, our marriage & couples psychologists can help.
A few reasons couples may consider couples or marriage counseling include:
- Feeling disconnected from your spouse or partner
- One partner had an affair but wants to stay in the marriage
- Poor communications
- Nontraditional relationships or blended families
- You don't get along with each other's families
- Emotionally distanced couples on the verge of separation
- Problems surrounding their intimate relationship
- Difficulty co-parenting & mismatched parenting styles
- Pre-marital counseling to set marriage up for success
THE BENEFITS OF COUPLES THERAPY AND MARRIAGE COUNSELING
The benefits of couples therapy will be slightly different for each couple. Why? Because each couple involves two unique individuals (with separate life experiences, values, and expectations). Each couple has a unique set of concerns, problems, or goals for our work together. After getting to know you and completing a relationship assessment, our psychologists will work with you and your partner. Together, you will work to set specific goals for your relationship.
A sample of possible goals for couples and relationship counseling include:
- Improving how you handle and manage conflict
- Feeling more connected to your partner
- Frequent conflict and arguments in a marriage
- Deepening intimacy, satisfaction, and connection
- Improving your friendship with your partner
- Feeling like a team and partnership
- Making each other's life dreams and goals come true
- Supporting one another in managing the stress and parenting
MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS TOO!
We think of ideal couples therapy as preventative, not a last resort! The single biggest mistake that couples often make is waiting too long before seeking out help. As a result, they fail to address the problem areas and issues that are arising in their relationship. Oftentimes, couples seem to think that their relationship has to be in danger to come to therapy. The truth is the earlier the better!
Keep in mind that even "good" relationships often have some areas that they could work on. Doing so can help prevent future larger problem areas from arising. In fact, this is often one of the best times to come to couples therapy. Doing so can help couples before they are in crisis or have severe and entrenched issues. Are you are experiencing some marital difficulties? If so, it is never too early or a bad idea to discuss them with a professional who specializes in couples therapy.
TALKING TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT COUPLES THERAPY
You want to go to couples counseling to invest in your marriage or relationship. You're tired of living with the arguments and know things can be better. But, you aren't sure how to bring the topic of marriage counseling up with your spouse or partner.
Here are some tips for talking to your partner about beginning couples or marriage counseling:
- Recognize and empathize with your partner if they are having resistance. It is quite normal. Rather than reacting to this, be vulnerable and real. Be honest and explain the issue from your perspective and how it makes you feel. Acknowledge that it is ok they may not agree. But, explain that you would like to understand their feelings and hesitations. For example, one might say, "When we fight, I have a hard time recovering. The things we say to each other are unkind, and I do want us to treat each other this way."
- Try not to bring it up in the heat of a fight or argument. Instead, have a calm talk about it later on so they know it is coming not from the conflict but a well-reasoned place.
- Rather than only focusing on what you see as their issue or contribution, state what your goals are. Communicate the things you want to work on or hope to address.
- Focus on sharing positive goals such as, "I want to laugh more again with you like we used to." Or, "I want to be happier and more connected."
- Remind them of the benefits that could come from therapy. This may include feeling more connected, feeling like more of a team, understanding and communicating better, handling conflict better, etc.
- Tell them it can be preventative, rather than a last resort.
WHAT IF MY PARTNER IS NOT WILLING TO GO TO COUPLES THERAPY?
You may have tried these suggestions and your spouse and they are still not willing to go to therapy. If so, then we recommend you talk to one of our couples therapists individually. We often start by identifying the issues and coaching you on how to discuss them with your partner. By doing so, you can see if they are willing to come to at least one of your sessions to discuss their concerns before agreeing to come to couples therapy.
But, your partner may still be completely unwilling to try couples therapy. If so, we can work in individual therapy on ways you can still attempt to work on the relationship issues from your end. This is with the awareness and caveat that this may only go so far to address the issues if there is only one party involved. Sometimes therapy involves helping you to figure out how you feel about continuing in the relationship. Especially if your partner is unwilling to work on it and/or change.
Are you able to come to a place of acceptance or do you feel you need to move on? This is not a decision a therapist ever makes for you. Instead, we are there to help you figure out your feelings. Together, we will identify what is right for you and your individual relationship. Please call us for a phone consult if you are in this situation. Your partner may be unwilling to go but, you feel you need help. We can discuss the options and whether we can be of help.
WHAT IF MY PARTNER IS CONSIDERING DIVORCE AND ISN'T WILLING TO GO?
If you or your partner is hesitant about couples therapy or is unwilling to go or considering divorce, please learn more about our discernment counseling service and the differences between it and marriage counseling. This is a time-limited service designed for the couple where one person is not initially willing to try couples therapy. This is because they are already strongly considering divorce. If you do decide to move forward with a divorce, our office also offers Collaborative Divorce services. Feel free to call us for a consultation to discuss your needs. We will identify which service is most appropriate for your relationship.
BEGIN COUPLES OR MARRIAGE COUNSELING IN TAMPA, FL
Your relationship doesn't have to stay stuck in the same old patterns. At our Tampa Bay counseling clinic, Our team of expert psychologists can help you and your partner reconnect. We offer evidence-based marriage and couples counseling services using Gottman Couples Therapy & Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. Reach out and contact Wellness Psychological Services to schedule a couples or marriage therapy intake appointment. To start setting the foundation for your relationship to be as strong as possible, please follow these simple steps:
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Fill out the form below to connect with Wellness Psychological Services
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Meet with an expert psychologist
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Start improving your relationship!
Other Areas of Speciality at Wellness Psychological Services
Marriage counseling isn't the only service our Tampa, FL-based therapy practice offers. For couples, we offer divorce discernment counseling, support through a divorce, and mediation. We also support individuals with DBT, PCIT, anxiety treatment, trauma therapy, depression counseling, OCD treatment, and stress management. Learn about our St. Pete and Tampa, FL therapy offices and testing services!