The media often portray the holidays as a time of joy and harmony, but many children’s behavior problems tend to increase during this period. Additionally, behavior issues are more likely to escalate during times of stress. Therefore, as the holidays approach, consider all the changes taking place. For example, everything looks/feels different—our homes and schools are decorated, stores are filled with holiday music, and the streets are transformed to magical light displays. While this can be joyous and festive, it can also lead to overstimulation. Overstimulation in children occurs when the child’s sensory system is overwhelmed by too much noise, sights and sounds, or even too many people. Try to identify a calm, quiet place in each place you need to bring your children; before you even get there if possible. For example, if you know you have to take your child to a busy store or shopping center, do some research to see if they have a coffee shop or even a food court where you can find a quieter corner or table to retreat to if you sense your child getting agitated or on the verge of a meltdown.
Further, schedules become unpredictable with preparations, extra bills, and errands. Children can often sense the stress their parents are experiencing, and internalize it without even realizing it. Added to a disrupted routine, lack of sleep, and change of environment, it can be too much for many children to process or articulate.
Here are some tips for managing defiant or disruptive behavior during the holiday season:
- Keep trips to the store short, and clearly communicate each outing to your child beforehand. You can even use the stopwatch feature on your phone and let your child time you while you run each errand. This is a great way to turn the errand into a game for them.
- Bring entertainment for the child (e.g., favorite toy, snacks, and a comfort item such as a favorite stuffed animal or blanket.
- Play games, like “I Spy,” or “Simon Says” while at the store.
- Use positive reinforcement by praising appropriate behavior. To identify what to praise, ask yourself, “What could be going wrong?” and then praise the opposite. For example, if your child tends to run away in the store, praise them for staying by your side when they are present. This encourages positive behavior and decreases the occurrence of negative behavior.
- Consider using a token economy (tangible reinforcement to reward the behavior you want to see) to encourage positive behavior while at a get together or social event.
- Stick to as many routines as possible. Even if your family is off schedule, try to keep mealtimes and rest times the same, even if the location is out of the ordinary. Stay consistent whenever possible with daily activities that your children rely on for normalcy and peace of mind.
- Set aside at least five minutes a day to interact with your child in a playful setting. This can be reading a book, singing a song together, or even playing a quick game.
- Try to plan outings and events at the time your child is most likely to enjoy them. If you know they get cranky at specific times of the day, avoid taking them out during those times as much as you can.
- Do not be afraid to decline invitations that don’t suit your family’s schedule. The pressure to commit to everything over the holidays can be overwhelming, but there’s no law saying you have to say yes to everything, especially if it’s not in the best interest of your child.
- Utilize travel time. If you’re going to be in and out of the car between errands, choose soothing music or even a child centered podcast to give them a break from the loud music and bright lights in public places this time of year.
Especially if ongoing behavior issues have been a problem, then the holidays or any time that includes stress and changes in routine will often exacerbate a pre-existing problem. You can use this heightened time as a window to motivate you to address what may be an ongoing problem that isn’t getting addressed. One therapeutic approach we will highlight in this article to help with behavioral issues in kids is Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). PCIT is designed to helps manage these challenges by teaching skills for effective interaction, including Child-Directed Interaction (CDI) and Parent-Directed Interaction (PDI) methods. These techniques can improve communication, reduce stress, and enhance the parent-child relationship during chaotic holiday times.
Can we start PCIT over the holidays?
Yes! We have full time trained PCIT certified providers on staff. In fact, starting PCIT now may be better suited for you and your family as you will learn how to manage challenging behaviors over the holiday season and ensure that weekly connection with your child.
How long does PCIT last?
PCIT sessions usually last an hour and are held weekly. On average, most cases meet between 12 and 20 sessions. The exact number of sessions depends on how the parents perceive their child’s behavior and how well they demonstrate the use of learned behavior management techniques during sessions. Progress is tracked by observing the parents’ application of the skills and through self-report measures. The Eyberg Child Behavior Inventory (ECBI) is used to assess the reduction of problem behaviors. Parents complete the ECBI at the beginning of each session, providing the therapist with weekly feedback on the child’s behavior outside of therapy and determining graduation criteria are achieved.
What if we travel for the holidays?
Travel is manageable during PCIT, as parents and children can continue learning and practicing skills anywhere, whether at home or away. Sessions are conducted online in real time so the patient and child can be at home, at a grandparent’s home, or on vacation. This makes treatment flexible and customizable to your schedule. Therefore, PCIT is flexible and fun, allowing parents to share these skills with other family members during holiday events.
What if we want to start after the first of the year?
We’re here to support you and always welcome you to start at any time. Treatment will first start with an intake to ensure PCIT is the right fit and then an observation. Therefore, upon starting treatment coaching typically begins in the third session. Reach out today to schedule, and we’ll get started right away.
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